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Last night I was having a little chat with my friend, Corey. He's a weird fella, let me tell you. But anyway, that's not the point. Randomly he says to me, "Man, guys can be so cruel sometimes..." I'm just sitting there wondering where that really came from, trying to interpret the purpose of the sentiment. So naturally, I inquired. "What do you mean?"
Corey relayed a story to me about a girl who had been gang raped after her prom. She was fifteen years old. Obviously, my first reaction was, "Wow, that's horrible, how could anyone do that?" Corey then proceeded to tell me that it made him feel bad because he is a guy and guy's do bad things like this all the time.
At that point, my face seriously lurched and a quizzical look took me over. I just didn't understand it. So I asked him, "Why? It wasn't you that did it." He said, "Yeah, but it's just the idea of guys doing bad things. It makes me feel bad, because I know that I'm a guy."
Well, I had to go after that. So I left, and I was still amazed. Am I weird, or is he weird? I just really don't understand the whole thing. Of course, a girl being raped in any situation is a horrible event, and the man who commits the crime should be punished for his actions. I know that people say that one bad apple spoils the bunch, but that's hard for me to believe.
Should all men be held accountable for the crimes of the few who decide to become deviants in our society. Are we all REALLY capable of this sort of behavior just because of our genetic make-up?
I know that I don't feel bad at all about being a guy. I had no decision in the matter, I don't do things (as far as I'm concerned) that degrade the name of male's across the world. If a girl is gang raped, feel bad for the girl, not yourself. Not only does it not make any sense but reverting the situation toward yourself really seems like you're just trying to detract from the gravity of the actual predicament. She was raped by someone else, not you. So please, don't make it about yourself.
Take my words with a grain of salt please. One last question though. Do you think that a lot of people share this sentiment?
6 comments:
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October 28, 2009 at 10:45 AM
This sounds really familiar.
Maybe it's just cuz I live in California, but recently there was this really big story about this 15yo girl getting gangraped at her HC in Richmond. Like 10 people were involved, whether it was raping or just assaulting. Worst part is that a bunch of people were watching and didn't do anything.
Okay, that's kind of a digression, but your friend's prom story just reminded me of this.
In regards to your question, I think most people understand that certain people do bad things, and that you can't judge a majority based on the actions of a minority. I'm talking about numbers here, not ethnicity or anything.
Obviously I don't know this "Corey," but maybe he just feels really bad? Unless he's a seriously conceited son of a bitch, I can kinda see where he's coming from. When I hear stories about mothers killing their own children, I feel kinda bad because I feel like it's a disgrace to women everywhere and it just.. doesn't feel good. But that doesn't mean I think they stand for the rest of us.
Bottom line, IMHO, no a minority shouldn't stand for a majority, but there isn't anything wrong with feeling bad when someone of your race/gender does something really bad.
Sorry, this is so long lol
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October 28, 2009 at 12:59 PM
I can understand why Corey feels guilty, but there's really no point to it. He sounds like a nice guy, and if he really feels bad, he should join a foundation or something for battered women. I could say it makes me cringe to think of all the elements of destruction Caucasian people have released upon Africa, but that's not going to do anything to change the past. The best course of action is help out where you can and move forward.
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October 28, 2009 at 1:40 PM
I do think they are the same story Sydney. Makes perfect sense for them to be the same too.
And I definitely agree with both of you. Feeling bad is different from feeling sorry for yourself, and if he wanted to do something about the supposedly intrinsic criminal nature of men, he could join a foundation.
Otherwise, there's not much else you can do but go backward, NOT forward.
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October 31, 2009 at 1:08 PM
You could point out that since the rapists were humans, all humans should feel guilty, even girls...even the girl raped. That might prove your point best.
~marina
About Me
- Mikey
- I'm seventeen, living in Colorado. An aspiring writer. I try but fail most times. I'd like to think I pick myself up and keep going though. I have a fetish for the human spirit and abuse it as much as I can in my stories just to show how strong people can be. Lame, I know. I really like Imogen Heap, Lost, Grilled Cheese, Fantasy in general, and movies. I want to learn more about directing, producing, acting, and all that jazz eventually.
October 28, 2009 at 8:39 AM
You are right Mikey, we can not be held accountable for everybodies else action. If a girl killed another kill, that had nothing to do with me, and I would not feel guilt. Instead I would feel sympathy for the victim. You right to feel sympathy and not guilt and I don't think a lot of people hold your friend's sentiment. We should be judged for our own actions :)